I was born in 1959 and was followed by two brothers a few short years later. Blessed with a wonderful father and mother, my life was as happy as any toddler could want.
Around the age of eight, however, things began to change. My mother, who came from a family with a history of mental illness and abuse, became increasingly agitated and more emotionally unstable. Usually, after an emotional tirade, she would want to cuddle with us. As a child, this was very confusing. By the time Dad came home from work, however, all had been restored to calm, and he never knew what was going on.
My parents did not attend church, but my mother often spoke about God, how he had created everything and was present in every living thing. I would talk to God a lot. When I was around twelve years old, I remember watching The Greatest Story Ever Told, and it was this movie that helped me understand who Jesus was. I would pray to Jesus, asking him that my mother would not “be so mean.”
When we were teens, the manipulation and verbal abuse became very difficult to bear, and my brothers and I left home as soon as we could. I moved to Nevada and my brothers to Tennessee. With no one else at home, Dad now became the target of Mom’s anger and mistreatment. They nearly divorced.
As a 20-year-old in Nevada, I reconnected with God through Bible study. I began to think about forgiveness and became less interested in meeting my own needs and more in serving the needs of others. It was the first huge moment of transformation in my life.
Then the Lord powerfully moved my heart and told me it was time to return home. I became a mediator between my Mom and Dad, helping them realize the love they still had for each other. I joined the Nazarene Church and continued my walk of faith. During the next two decades, however, I knew I was still searching for more. Something was missing. Eventually, in 2012, I was received into the Catholic Church and found everything I had been searching for.
As grandchildren were born into the family, Mom seemed to mellow slightly, but after my youngest brother was killed in a hunting accident, she declined sharply. In the following months and years, Mom’s anger and grief made her almost intolerable to be around. I continued to pray for her.
Mom’s accusations against my other brother and sister-in-law were so difficult. Though they had sacrificed for years to keep her and Dad financially stable, she accused them of scheming to steal from them. We tried to get her to seek help, but she refused. My Dad would cry at the unrest between Mom and my brother and his family. I feared that the pain, hurt, and anger might never be fixed.
In 2016, Dad started to show signs of dementia, and by 2020, it was clearly in its advanced stages. My mother’s behavior toward my Dad was so unbearable that my brother often said that, after Dad passed, he never wanted to see Mom again. He would even turn to me and ask, “How can you stand to be around her?” The only answer I could give him was that she was my mother and I loved her. Somehow, with God’s grace, I could calm her, but I had to face the hurricane of emotions she would push at me first. I continued to pray.
During the pandemic in 2020, Dad suffered a heart attack and passed away. At this point, I lived an hour away from Mom and made it a point to drive over to see her twice a week. When Mom decided it was time to sell the family home, she and I decided it was best to move her closer to me, which proved to be a major undertaking.
As we packed her things, Mom’s behavior toward us was unbearable, and there were many times my brother almost walked out. Again, he asked me why I was taking on the responsibility of caring for Mom. I told him, “She is our mother. She is grieving, alone, and has a mental illness.” I told him that Mom does love us and that Dad would have wanted us to watch over her, but most of all, I said, “God wants me to do this.”
The Lord has helped me navigate the troubled waters of my family, giving me courage, compassion, and peace. What has made a difference in my spiritual journey has been Mass, Holy Communion, and confession. Sometimes it seemed as if homilies were preached just for me. Receiving the Eucharist and praying with Jesus in my heart has sustained me through the difficult relationships within my family.
Over the past two-and-a-half years, Mom has become a changed person. She attends family functions and is pleasant to be around. For me, this has been a miracle. I finally have a healthy relationship with my mother. I give thanks to God for answering prayer. He has given us more than I could ever have imagined. This past Christmas, my brother spent time with us, still incredulous at the change in her. My brother’s family welcomed her as her heart warmed. I told him all things are possible, in God’s time.
I have learned that the virtues of hope, faith, and love are so important in situations filled with discord and strife. By faith we know and believe what God has in store for us. Hope gives us the courage to go on and gets us through those really dark times. Love is what we pour into the world when we are kind to each other. Prayer is so important—this precious time when we talk with Our Lord, building a relationship with him. How God loves us and wants that relationship with us to grow!
The older I become, the more I learn that, whatever life has thrown my way, God in his mercy has shown me the way through it all. He has made it so simple. He has taught me to just give it all to him and have faith. God loves us more than we can comprehend. He asks us to trust him and be kind to everyone.
And still, I continue to pray.
A testimony from G., Ohio
