It is August, and I am keenly aware of my motherhood. I just moved my oldest child to a college last week; it’s over three hours away. The ache is still there: the longing to have her back in her room under our roof. But I know that’s not how it works.
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It requires a “letting go and letting God” in ways our humanity wants to resist.
So, I find myself grateful to be surrounded by several feasts celebrating our blessed Mother Mary: her Assumption (August 15), Queenship (August 22), Birthday (September 8), and Sorrows (September 15).
I am clinging to the realities and the rewards of Mary's motherhood to remind myself that there is glory to balance the sorrows and pains. I am calling on her intercession to teach me her ways of guiding, leading, and interceding for my own children on their journey to heaven. I am hoping to point the way, as she did, to her Son, Jesus.
Mary’s Profound Way of Mothering
When God formed me, he knew I would one day become a mother, just as he knew when he formed Mary that she would be the Mother of his Son and a Mother to us all. Mary’s birthday reminds us of God’s design: we are chosen for our children.
While the feast of Mary’s birth is not mentioned in the Bible, we know of it from the Protevangelium of James, which names Saints Joachim and Anne as her parents. Celebrated every year on September 8, the Feast of the Birth of Mary is considered the breaking of the Dawn before the rising Sun, Jesus. What a precious thought that with the birth of every woman who will become a mother, God has intentionally created the dawn of her own children’s light in the world.
How jolting, however, that one week later we celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows on September 15, the day following the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. From the dawn of joy to the heartache and pain of mothering and suffering with her beloved Son, Jesus. I can relate to this oh so much, because in these days of post-college drop-off, I find myself thinking: She was just born. How can it be time for this? I imagine that beneath the cross Mary felt the same.
How many moments did she face in her life in which her heart was pierced with sorrow, knowing her Son was one step closer to his Passion? I think of how, as Our Lady of Cana, she gave her Son to us in the most compassionate way, showing us the heart of a mother. Mothers let go because we know our children have so much to offer this world—and that God has plans for them. Both Jesus and Mary knew the profound journey her intercession at Cana would set in motion.
These days, among all her special feasts, it is Our Lady of Cana I find myself turning to most as a mother. Quietly, I sometimes call her Our Lady of Miracles. And motherhood truly is nothing short of a miracle—a calling that binds us eternally to a child we know is not ours to keep, but ours to raise, send into the world, share with others, and ultimately return to the Father. At the Wedding at Cana, Mary not only models this profound way of mothering, but she also reminds us that even the most ordinary among us have a vital role to play in Jesus’ work on earth.
For when Mary says, “Do whatever he tells you” (Jn 2:5), those words are directed to the servants, rather than to his disciples. It was the servants who were asked to assist Jesus with his first miracle.
There are two things that can be learned from this that I have wanted my children to understand about Mary’s presence in our lives: 1) inviting her into our life opens doors for the miraculous to happen, even when we don’t even know we need a miracle, and 2) she invites us, in our ordinariness, to be part of the miracles she is asking of Jesus.
Mary Opens the Door to the Miraculous
I’m a daily Rosary girl. I’ve taught my kids to reach for their Rosary too–whether in the morning, on a car ride, or at night when they find themselves tossing and turning. However, even a simple Hail Mary is the easiest way to invite Mary into our life. Even this small invitation allows our Blessed Mother to keep a close eye on us. It invites her to point to some places in our hearts that might be lacking what Jesus wants to provide in our life. With that simple Hail Mary, I tell my children, she asks Jesus to work miracles for our good before we know we need them.
The couple at the Wedding Feast at Cana clearly had a personal connection to Mary since she was invited to their wedding. We don’t know if it was a connection through the parents of the couple or to the couple themselves. Either way, we, as parents, can invite Mary not only into our own lives but also into the lives of our children, trusting that with Mary close by, miracles and transformation are sure to follow.
I truly believe there have been times in my life when, unbeknownst to me, Mary asked Jesus to order events, people, or places in such a way that everything worked out just right, providing for whatever I was lacking. Because of Cana, I know Mary is constantly interceding and prompting Jesus to provide more of whatever it is I need, a miracle that produces something better than anything I could have done alone: the best wine.
Mary Wants Everyone Involved in the Glory of God
In the Gospel passage about the miracle of Cana, Mary, like Jesus, doesn’t go for the obvious “helpers.” When it comes to Jesus’ first miracle, Mary doesn’t tell the disciples to get involved even though we know they are there. She instead says to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
This simple act reminds us—especially us lay faithful—that, no matter what our state in life, listening to Jesus and fully carrying out what he asks can make way for miracles. By doing whatever he tells us, we give him what he needs to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary. What I try to help my children understand is that Mary is constantly urging us at every second of our lives to do whatever Jesus asks of us because she knows he will use our simple acts of service for big impact.
Mary the Dawn, Christ the Perfect Day
Everything about Mary points us to her Son. She brings us today before Jesus in the Eucharist so we can hear him speak to our hearts when we feel our wine running low. Then she says, "Do whatever he tells you."
In her birth, she is the Dawn, with Christ the perfect Day coming to us through her.
She stands beneath the cross of her Son, in her compassion and grief, giving us courage and hope to stand with her in our own sorrows.
She is the woman who tells us to do whatever he asks of us, that we may learn to trust that he is always there for us in our every need.
She reminds us to intercede for our children that they might become who God is calling them to be, whether that is helping them take their next big step or standing with them as witness to their sacrifice and sorrow.
Mary, as we celebrate the feast of your birth and the feast of your sorrows, we thank you for your example of motherhood which guides, intercedes, and leads us to Christ. Please be with us as we live out our vocations. Help us direct our daily lives and the lives of our children to always be ready to respond when you call us to Jesus’ service. Help us respond with fullness of hearts so that the goodness and mercy of Jesus will overflow in the lives of those around us. Amen.
Nicole Berlucchi is a writer and an independent contractor for Catholic nonprofits. She has been married to Joe since 2006, and they live in Nashville with their four children. Passionate about listening to Jesus and Mary’s motherhood, she wrote Magnify Love: Unlocking the Heart of Jesus in Your Marriage and Your Life and has two Substack accounts: Go Tell the World About Mary and More Love, More Life, More Glory to God.
Image credit: Photo by Ange Sista via pexels.com
