Many times, I hear these words from people speaking about their prayer life, “I did not feel God’s presence,” “nothing seems to move me closer to him,” “praying is hard and sometimes I do not see the point.”
All of these are examples of times of spiritual dryness, when prayer, despite doing what has helped a person grow in faith and love of God, now does nothing. It feels like work or going through the motions or, sometimes, it feels even pointless.
The investment of time and energy does not bring forth peace or comfort; God seems far away.
If we are honest with ourselves, we may be grading our prayers in terms of the return we receive. Or, we may have become accustomed to feelings of warmth or the sense that we have done a good thing by praying. And we would like a little reward. Nothing big, but a small sign of God moving, of seeing him in everyday life.
Spiritual Dryness, Not a Call to Be Alarmed
If we consider our prayer life as being similar to a human relationship, we notice there is an ebb and a flow to both of them, depending on circumstances. For example, when we first get to know someone, there is joy in learning new things about them, discovering their likes and dislikes, and simply spending time together.
Prayer is the same way. We begin a daily habit of prayer, and at first, we love it—each day excited to be with the Lord, eager to learn more about him. And God, because he loves us, gives us many graces and builds in us a desire to continue.
After a time, when we have settled into the habit, God steps back a tiny bit to help us learn to rely less on our feelings and more on the awareness that he is with us, even when we are not sensing him.
This does not mean God is not with us. Indeed, without him we would cease to be. And the Holy Spirit, since our Baptism, is present within us, guiding us in sometimes imperceptible ways.
When we persevere in prayer, even when we have dryness, we are telling God we love him, no matter what.
In Spiritual Dryness Keep Showing Up
When our usual prayers do not fulfill us as in the past, we can become discouraged or experience spiritual dryness. We may want to give up, thinking personal prayer is pointless.
These are the times when it is most important to keep showing up and moving forward, staying committed to God, yourself, and prayer. But how can we do that?
First, keep to your schedule or plan. Whatever your daily prayer habit looks like, stay with it. What you can change is how or what you are praying.
The rosary is a beautiful way to go to our Mother Mary and ask for her intercession. It can comfort us in times of trouble, since for many, it was a prayer we learned early in our walk of faith. If you are struggling with concentrating on the rosary, pray a scriptural rosary or walk outside while praying. Maybe pray for a specific person on each bead. Or pray for the person who gave you the rosary. The shift in focus can help you pay more attention to what you are praying.
If the struggle is paying attention at Mass, ask the Holy Spirit to help you focus on the Gospel and what you are to learn from it today. Pray for the people around you. Keep your eyes on the cross or the tabernacle. It might be time to change where you sit if you are in the habit of sitting in the same pew at every Mass. That will shift your visual perspective and can help your internal focus as well.
If meditation is difficult, rather than being still, write out your thoughts and prayers. If the space in which you are praying is causing you distraction, go to an Adoration chapel or a quiet spot in nature. A few months ago, I was having difficulty focusing, so I went to the library and sat alone in a study room. God showed up, and my dryness was replaced with a word from him.
Another thought is to change the time you pray. Switch from morning to evening or try the middle of the day. You might try praying for longer periods of time or more often.
A time of spiritual dryness is a good time to pick up a not-so-often-used devotional or prayer book. Something to help you see things in a new and different way.
Is There a Reason for the Dryness?
There are times when our behavior causes spiritual dryness. We have turned away from God and sinned. We are angry, lonely, afraid, unsure of the future or what God wants from us. Instead of turning toward God, we move away, embarrassed or ashamed, believing our lack of faith to be a reason to not show up and ask for help.
At times like this, when we feel at our lowest, we might go to confession. Not because we are terrible sinners, but because we need forgiveness and grace to move forward and know we are loved.
Another reason for spiritual dryness is that we might be shortchanging God and then ourselves. If we have committed to certain prayers and times of prayer, and do not hold to them, we can feel dryness.
Of course, there are times we cannot fulfill our prayer commitments due to life circumstances. When that happens, we can be creative in where, when, and how we pray. When that happens, we can be creative in where, when, and how we pray. In any case, we need to be cautious about blaming life circumstances for difficulties in prayer, when, sometimes, it's simply that we haven't made prayer a priority.
In these situations, it is good to talk to your confessor, a good friend, or spiritual director to discern what is happening and how to best move forward.
God Is Within You
In times of spiritual dryness, we can grow deeply in our spiritual life. However, to discover what we've learned, we need to press through the dryness to get to fulfillment.
Rely on God during dryness in prayer, knowing that God is always faithful and present. He is within us and does not withdraw from us. Our feelings may be different from what they were before, but God has not changed.
We keep showing up, keep praying, leaning into the discomfort, and asking for grace. And in time, there will be a shift away from dryness, and we will feel God’s presence again.
Deanna G. Bartalini, M.Ed., M.P.A. is a certified spiritual director, retreat leader, speaker, and writer with decades of experience serving the Church. She is the founder of LiveNotLukewarm.com (livenotlukewarm.com), works on the retreat team at Our Lady of Florida Passionist Spiritual Center, and is an Unbound prayer minister. Deanna writes from her experiences of over 40 years of marriage, children and grandchildren.
Photo by Fabian Marin Zuñiga on Unsplash
